Matt is in almost constant pain.
The burn is more purple than dark red.
It is developing sores. There are
three more days of radiation. He has a
date to meet with his surgeon (the sarcoma specialist) on January 21st. If the skin is not too broken down, then his
surgery will take place early Monday morning on January 25th. This is good news. We want this surgery to be successful at
finally removing all of the cancer from his body!
On the 21st of January he will also have an MRI of the area
as well as his first 3 month post-diagnosis CT scan. He will have these scans every 3 months for
the first year or two to vigilantly monitor any cancer spread. The most likely place for the cancer to
spread are the lungs, hence it is a CT scan of the chest. It is incredible to realize that he is
already scheduled for his 3-month scans!
Thank goodness for health insurance! Insurance for Matt is
actually the only insurance we can afford. His employer covers almost all
of the cost of his premiums. He pays a coinsurance charge for doctor
visits, specialist visits, surgery and tests, all of which have been paid for
from our savings account.
Thank goodness for savings accounts!
Over the years, we have learned the value of keeping money in the bank
for emergencies. We save money, then we
end up using the money for something we need.
We save again, then we buy a Suburban for our growing family. We save again, then use it when money is
tight and we need to buy food and gas with it. At this time, in 2015 and 2016,
we are using our savings for health care. Knowing that money is sitting there in the
bank has provided a sense of peace through this unfamiliar journey that is
cancer care.
As the savings has been used, I have kept my eye on the balance, knowing
we’ll still need this much for doctor visits and this much for tests and a
second surgery. But recently,
unexpectedly, and only two months after installing brand new flooring into the
basement apartment of our rental home in Utah, there was a sewage flood which
filled areas of the basement with foul water and required us to pull out that
new flooring plus tear down affected walls, carpet, and do major cleanup and
repairs. All the savings and then some
will be used to pay the insurance deductible, plumber costs, manager costs, and
carpet depreciation.
I have been the one dealing with this emergency because Matt has been so
busy with work and treatment. I have
also been the one keeping an eye on finances, aware now that unless money comes
in miraculously, we will be using a credit card to pay for the healthcare costs
in our future. We haven’t owed debt
(other than mortgages) for years so this feels really uncomfortable. I had to tell myself repeatedly, “It’s just
money. Money comes and money goes. That’s what it’s there for. It’s just money.” This mantra helped me to not worry about it,
but to trust in a higher power to keep us out of debt. In fact, that’s what I prayed for. “Please, Heavenly Father, help us to find the
money we need to avoid going in to debt.
Please help the money come in that we need to cover the money going
out.” Matt didn’t even know I was
praying for this. He has been so busy
with work and we are both so busy raising these six kids that the money issues
weren’t even brought up.
While all of this was going on at home, Matt has been experiencing tremendous
blessings at work. One day he was
singled out to receive a surprise gift card from a group at his school,
recognizing his efforts as a teacher and wanting to support him through his
current health challenge. It was a
generous gift and it made him feel like he was a charity case. He felt there was no need for it. In his mind, just because he has cancer, it
doesn’t mean he deserves any special gift over someone else. He griped about it to his coworker, this same
coworker who had been trying to figure out a way to implement a much bigger and
much more generous gift experience that Matt’s entire school had gotten behind. She heard his complaints and recognized that
Matt might not be willing to accept a larger contribution. She called me, “Hi, Rhyetta, um… some of us
from school are planning a big Christmas gift for Matt and you and the kids and
we need to figure out how we are going to get Matt to be able to accept it!” She then went on explaining what it’s for and
why they are doing it and I recognized this charity as something we did in fact
need. I told her that I’d work on Matt being able to receive it.
The next opportunity we had to talk alone was in the car on our way
somewhere. Matt expressed himself, “We
don’t need this! We don’t deserve this
over anyone else!” I told him how this
donation was a way for people to show their support for him and for our family,
how at Christmastime people can give with their pocketbooks and they want these
opportunities to offer something which might benefit someone else. Wouldn’t we be willing and eager to donate to
a friend in the same situation?! Then I
added, “Our savings will be depleted because of the emergency in our rental
house. I have been praying for money to
come in to replenish it. This is an
answer to my prayer. Please accept it
for me.”
It took praying and humbling. It
took a break down of pride. But he did. This Christmas season he has been given so
many unselfish offerings, generous gift cards, kindhearted gifts and even cold
hard cash. Here are some examples:
- In an email from a prior coworker, “I’m doing my Thanksgiving shopping this weekend and I would like to pick up your family’s Thanksgiving groceries. Send me a list!”
- From friends at church, deliveries of wood to use in our wood-burning stove this winter. And the gift of service from other friends who helped us chop it up into usable pieces.
- From a coworker, “If you ever need to stay at K.U. for treatment and the drive is too far, you are welcome to stay overnight in an empty apartment we own near the campus.”
- In an envelope left on the dashboard of our car, $100 cash with a note: “We love the Musser Family.”
- From a friend, “I don’t want you to worry about the cost of gas driving to and from appointments and treatments. Tell me when you have an appointment, and I’ll get you a gas card to cover it.”
- From a collection at his previous school, monetary donations valued in the hundreds.
- From a collection at his current school, gift cards galore and cash which will return our savings account back to the pre-basement emergency level plus extra.
- From family, Christmas gifts of significant value from all sides.
We know from experience that it feels better to give than to receive. But this Christmas season we are learning
what it’s like to be on the receiving end.
It is humbling. It is
appreciated.
