Achieving BIG goals in 2014

I began this year, 2014, with an enthusiastic determination to do something BIG!  I wanted to make a New Year's Resolution that would change me, that would be incredible, that would be impressive!  I wasn't sure what it would be but I just felt like I could do anything, even reaching a lofty goal whether health-related, diet-related, educational, or doing something new and different in my community.  I thought about a half marathon but that didn't feel exactly right.  I pondered various opportunities for continued personal growth and education but I wasn't inspired to pursue any specific thing.

I did commit myself to very strict dietary rules including eating only whole grains, legumes, vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, natural sugars, spices and a few condiments.  Nothing else would pass my lips.  No refined sugar.  No oils.  No junk food.  No meat or dairy.  No white flour.  I wanted to be the healthiest I had ever been before.  I felt like Superwoman when I was in social situations with desserts.  I passed them over without any regret and looked forward to the healthy treats I had waiting for me at home.  It felt great to be recommitted to my health.  I exercised for about an hour a day as well.  I loved it.

Then Matt and I made the decision to be willing to have another child.  This decision was made after a tremendous amount of talking, planning, praying and internal wrestling with the Spirit.  My journal is filled with pages of thoughts and questions and preparations for the possible ramifications of our family growing in size again.  The timing of the pregnancy had to be perfect because of the severity of my morning sickness.  My sickest weeks must lie within the summer months when Matt is off of school and can take care of house and children-related duties.  As these plans were pondered over and questioned and prayed about and discussed, my heart was slowly turned toward being willing to follow God's counsel to "multiply and replenish the earth."

Matt and I feel that it is a married couple's duty to have and raise children.  Our Father's commandment to Adam and Eve remains in force today.  Of course, every marriage and every family is different and these differences must be considered.  In our personal situation, pregnancy has to be planned.  In our current situation, our marriage is strong.  In my case, I have to feel ready emotionally, physically and mentally.  The decisions relating to family must be made between a husband and a wife and the Lord.  For me, the Lord was prompting me that it was time for us to consider another child.  If I had continued to push those promptings away, I would have been like Jonah trying to run away from God.

This one decision, to have another child, has changed everything (ok, not literally everything, but it changed a lot about my life).  Before the decision I was exquisitely happy with working part-time at the library.  I couldn't have imagined a more perfectly suited job for me and my family.  I never could have  imagined walking away from this awesome opportunity.  Why would I quit something that gave me personal satisfaction?

Another of the great joys in my life is gardening.  I love to plant seeds, to help make edible plants grow, to feed myself and my family from our own organic garden.  I love the summer, even in humid Missouri, because it means delicious fruits and vegetables are abundant.  Experiencing summer while pregnant automatically means that my gardening ability will be severely limited.  (To prove this point, I don't think I even left the house during the entire month of June, unless it was somewhere I had to go like to the doctor's office!  I watched the weeds grow from my bedroom window and there was nothing I could do about it!)

And all of the high hopes and big goals I was ready to fulfill at the beginning of 2014 flew out the window with this one decision.

Here is the point of me writing down these thoughts: I have been completely happy since making the decision!  I have gardened less.  It hasn't been a big deal.  I quit my library job without any regrets.  I have endured the summer months of painful queasiness fairly well.  And I find myself filled with joy and excitement at this new adventure that I couldn't have imagined possible before.

I am so thankful for the vision I had a couple of years ago of me and my family with another baby girl we called Maggie.  I am thankful for Matt's and my relationship which is strong and committed and faithful.  I am thankful for his chosen profession in education which allows us to even consider the option of having more children.  Matt must be home during those several sick weeks of severe nausea and vomiting to take up the slack that I must leave behind in my illness.  I don't know that I ever realized before what a blessing it has been for him to have a job that allows him to help so significantly!

I am thankful for my recent ultrasound which showed me what I already knew: that this baby is a girl.  I am thankful for the gifts we have already received: a crib with pink bedding, baby toys and baby furniture, and baby clothes.

Mostly, I am thankful for this BIG thing that has taken over my year.  I'm doing something I could not have imagined back in January.  I'm creating life.  Could it get any bigger than that?!  I'm following the Spirit.  And I'm thankful for the happiness I feel inside because I am willing to do the Lord's will.