How I Became a Family History Fanatic

 

I used to avoid family history. I would hear someone speaking at church mention the topic and I’d lose interest and let my mind wander about something else. How could there be any research to do for my family? I thought I had relatives that did all the work. Plus, it sounded so boring!

But in 2021 I set a goal. It was a little goal. I read President Nelson’s counsel to participate in the gathering of Israel by doing family history work enough times and I knew I was a slacker in this area, so I set a teeny-tiny goal for myself, and I committed to spend ONE hour every WEEK doing something family history related. I didn’t know what I’d do or where it would take me. I wasn’t looking forward to it. I felt it would be a chore, but I wanted to follow the prophet.

I started out by checking on my family trees, adding names and dates and marriages, etc. I played around on FamilySearch and Ancestry, learning a little about the sites and how to use them. I reviewed the Hints features and used them to fill out mine and Matt’s family trees. It was kind of fun. I liked adding my kids’ information that wasn’t updated. I liked making sure the information was accurate. I updated profile pictures of family members. I noticed that some of Matt’s ancestors’ temple work hadn’t been done so I reserved those ordinances, and we took them to the temple. That was exciting! Now I was doing something useful, something that was of eternal value. I was uniting families for eternity!

Interestingly, I learned that Matt’s great-grandfather was born in St. Joseph, Missouri. Several of his family members settled in Missouri, in the areas where we now live. Martha Musser and her husband Isaac Newton Page raised their family in Chillicothe, Missouri. That is the same town where I gave birth to Maggie! Adolphus Musser Sr. was a prominent figure in Plattsburg, Missouri. That is the county seat where we live! Were these coincidences?! I felt a nudge to continue this research and perform their ordinances in the holy temple. This work was fun and interesting!

I also realized my lack of knowledge about family history and that I needed further education on the subject to be sure that what I was researching was correct. By 2022, I was enrolled in the BYU Pathways Program to begin my coursework in Family History Research. I was going to school again!

I loved every class I took in family history. I loved my professors, I loved the atmosphere of BYU-Idaho, I loved everything that I was learning, I looked forward to my classwork every day. This strengthened my interest in the subject of genealogy, and I was hooked even more than ever. I was able to use the skills I learned in class and make progress on my family trees. I was able to get comfortable with my research abilities and I grew confident so that I was more willing to make changes and edits to the profiles and trees of our ancestors.

I completed my first certificate in 2024 and I will complete my second certificate in Advanced Family History Research in April of 2025. I now plan to continue my education at the University of Glasgow in Scotland through their online learning program and hope to receive a master’s degree in 2027!

Family history has become my purpose in life. I spend hours every day researching and learning. I remember when I started with one hour a week! This work has strengthened my testimony of the temple. Matt and my attendance in the temple went from a casual once a month to a committed once a week. I also became a temple worker in 2024 and will have served for almost a year. This whole experience has also strengthened my testimony of following the prophet! That’s how this all began - with a desire to follow the prophet. I never dreamed family history would (almost) take over my life!

If you haven’t given family history a try, please accept my invitation to do so now. As President Nelson says there’s nothing more important for us to be doing at this time of the earth’s history.

Family History Fun over Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of all time. I love the smells, the foods, the pies, the gathering of friends and family, the pies, the rest from cooking for the remainder of the weekend because there are so many leftovers, the pies, and the opportunity to express thanks. I don't eat pie any other time of year except Thanksgiving. This year we had 14. Abby makes coconut cream which was the favorite this year, Ella makes apple and pecan, Felicity makes chocolate, Matt made a new one called Texas Trash pie (I had two bites and was sugared up!), my parents buy several pumpkin pies from Costco, I make strawberry pretzel salad (which is totally a dessert) and I made a banana cream pie, plus family brought pecan bars, lemon cream pie, cherry cake, and more. And never forget the homemade whipped cream!

To me, Thanksgiving is better than Christmas because Christmas gets stressful with all of the planning and preparation involved. But Thanksgiving is just a little planning and grocery shopping and then lots of baking and cooking and fun and eating and relaxing. Remind me to share my tip regarding making Christmas less stressful with older children-it's been amazing! 

My sister and her husband and ten of her children came up from Kansas City - always a party when the Robertson's come! My other sister and her boyfriend joined us all the way from Utah and surprise! my niece, Liberty, came too! Our neighbor Crissa always joins us; it's tradition by now. Plus my parents so there were 30 of us! While Matt and I cooked (and some of the adult children), Karina helped Maggie decorate the tables with our hodgepodge of fall-time decorations. We only use them for a day but they're so fun including little Pilgrim teddy bears. 

What I did differently this year than previous years was a fun and easy family history-related activity that I'd like to share with you. Maybe you can use this idea at a future family gathering. I asked Maggie to place a printed pedigree chart at each seat at each table. It was kind of like a placemat. At the beginning of the meal, I told my family members that under their plates they would find a pedigree chart and it would be helpful if they used some of their mealtime to study the pedigree chart because the knowledge would come in handy after the meal...

We enjoyed eating, we played a fun version of "Name That Tune," we consumed dessert, then we cleared out the tables and chairs and I gathered everyone who was interested in game time. 

I connected my laptop to my tv and went to the following link: https://fhtl.org/familysearch-enhancements. Click on the log in to FamilySearch button (I am assuming you have a family tree on FamilySearch). The site will pull the names and dates and other info from your family tree and create games from your specific genealogy. 

We divided into teams based on where the participants were sitting and got started. First we played Geneopardy. Some of the questions were very specific but the resourceful kids used their pedigrees to figure out the answers! There were a lot of laughs! There were questions about marriages, length of life, places people lived, etc. We played Wheel of Family Fortune which was great fun and a little easier because the kids were now familiar with the names and dates on the pedigree charts. We ended with the Baby Name Generator game which got a lot of cackles. I asked each niece/nephew to select the parameters (boy name or girl name or either, length of the name, and range of years to pull from) and then I told them their first baby would be named... and we all saw what was generated. Here's an example: Margaret Susannah Francisco.

This family history activity was fun for all of the kids involved, aged 9 to 20. It was an easy, almost no-prep activity to get their attention on their pedigrees and become familiar with names, places and dates of their ancestors. The website also has clever games that kids (and adults) will enjoy in other circumstances including solitary games like word search, puzzles, and wordle. 

An overdue update

I'm feeling the urge to use the blog again to share experiences with our family and with genealogy. So much has happened since 2019! Here's a brief update on everyone's activities: Matt is 9 years cancer free! Praise God! He's spent the last 4 years as Bishop of our awesome Grindstone Creek ward in the Far West, Missouri Stake. In 2022, he moved teaching positions from the St. Joseph Missouri School District to the small-town school the kids began in 2020 in Osborn, Missouri. There are about 10 kids in each class of that preK-high school. It was a major paycut but a good experience to be at the same school as the kids (Felicity, Klaus, and Maggie). He even got to be Klaus's 6th grade teacher which is something Klaus has looked forward to ever since he started public school with Daddy in kindergarten. But this past year Matt got offered a job for a charter school in California called John Adams Academy. It has been a pay increase and he gets to work remotely which is something he's always wanted. It's been an incredible experience for him. Hopefully he'll share more about it on the blog. We're hoping the kids will be able to join their private school when they open next year. Rhyetta (me). I got started doing family history a few years ago (that's a story for another blog post) and now I realize that it's my passion and purpose in life! I'm almost done with my Associates Degree at BYU-Idaho that I've been able to do from home. I love BYU-Idaho so much! It's an amazing educational experience! I'll have to share about my awesome internship opportunity this semester in another post as well. I help G'pa Chad in the garden each summer, keep the house running, and I worked at our local library for a couple of years. We're also grandparents now! Kian married Farren McKenzie in 2021 in Gallatin, Missouri. They have had two children: Penelope and Timothy, and Baby Genevieve is likely to be born any week now. The grandbabies are miracles in our lives! Kian works from home as a computer programmar. They live in Braymer, Missouri which is not very far from us so we get to see them lots. Abby has been through a lot the past few years but has been making so much progress. She works at Casey's on the 3 am to 11 am shift! She's earning money to pay for a neuropsychiatric exam and to move out of the house. Her goal is to move out in January to a house in Iola, Kansas with a roommate/friend. She's been serving as the Primary Secretary the past few months and doing great at it. The sisters who work with her love her so much. She is an amazing writer, specializing in fan fiction. Ella has worked for 3 years at Raquelita's, a Mexican food truck owned by a friend in Kearney. She has always been an excellent cook but now she is muy excelente at cooking comida mexicana!! We often request her to cook our birthday meals. She is now looking for a new job because Rachel needed to close Raquelita's. Ella is such a hard worker and so fun to be around. She cracks us up at dinnertime with her witty comebacks. Felicity turned 17 today! She is in her junior year, driving, and looking for a job to earn money. She just served as the backstage manager of a community play. The director said she couldn't have done the play without her! She is discovering her talents and loves seminary. She is so reponsible and I'm thankful for her being my faithful driver when I need errands done and the dishwasher of the household! Klaus in in 8th grade. He also had a role in the community play which was his first time. He has a great singing voice and plays the trumpet for the school band (there are maybe 6 kids in the band). He's a great student and the science teacher says he has to tell him to stop sharing what he knows in class. He knows everything there is to know about Pokemon and aviation. Because of his enthusiasm, our family went to the air show this summer which was the first time for our family. Maggie is 9 years old and has attended Osborn School since kindergarten. She is a great reader and has enjoyed school but has requested that I homeschool her to finish the year. So we'll be starting that soon! Maggie enjoys playing with friends, riding her bike when the weather permits, swimming, and watching "Ruby and the Well" or "Just Add Magic." We have a bonus daughter, Carolyn, living with us who just turned 18. After spending months sleeping on the couch because all of the bedrooms in this house are full, I finally asked her, "Would you like to have your own bed?!" We squeezed her in with Abby and Ella downstairs. She works at Arby's and is finishing her high school degree through homeschool. We also often have another bonus daughter at our home who is Maggie's best friend. I never know how many dishes to set on the table! Every night I have to figure out who's home and how many plates we'll need. It's usually between 8 and 11. G'ma and G'pa usually join us. They've had some serious health issues this year but they're still healthy and enjoying life. My dad works in the garden all summer and indexing all winter. My mom serves us by cooking, mending, cutting hair, etc and serves everyone in our community as the Compassionate Service Coordinator. Every day is so busy and goes by so fast. I'm thankful for this family of mine and the support we are for each other.

I'm Back!

I'll have to change the name of this blog, now that we've moved--again! since I last wrote.  We're not on 10 acres anymore!

I'd just like to record some of the good things that happen. Even the small good things are worth recording and remembering.

Matt let me "go to bed" at 7:30 last night. I was so tired! I ended up reading a good book, getting a headache and actually going to sleep later than usual, but still I enjoyed the evening in bed.

Today was beautiful weather. We've recently endured a horrible heat wave and today was sunny but only in the 70s. What a blessing for July! We washed and vacuumed the cars this evening. 

I'm pretty much ready for homeschool this coming year. I feel well prepared although I do have a lot of reading to keep up with Abby, Ella & Felicity's literature.

Kian and I dropped off mission paperwork at Dr. Kong's office. He says he's leaning towards going on a mission after 1 semester at college.  We only have 1 month before he moves out! He makes dinner most evenings to help him learn how to cook. 

I got to go to Jamesport today and Felicity and I had a nice date to the Sonic in Trenton.

Maggie and I have been playing the card game version of the Oregon Trail. Yesterday Ella and Klaus joined us. Maggie and I both ended up dying from a snakebite. Does anyone actually win that game?   

April 2017 Update

We are approaching the end of another school year! 2 1/2 more weeks and Matt will be home for the summer. Woohoo! Klaus will have finished kindergarten (our first public schooler!) He loves school so much and wants to go back for more in 1st grade! I want to just catch up on everyone.

Matt had clear scans in February; next scans are in June. He enjoyed a period of being pain-free for the most part, but the achy, annoying, frustrating pain in his leg is back. :( It's really bothersome and he has to learn to manage it and not knowing why it's happening is hard to deal with, but he's dealing. There's nothing much else to do about it, is there? It really takes faith not to turn into a hypochondriac after you've been diagnosed with cancer. Other than that, he is doing well. He is considering the possibility of going back to school to get his masters degree. We'll see if he is inspired to do that or not. I support him either way.

I've been super busy juggling work responsibilities now that I've put my real estate license into activity. I am officially a realtor now and I have 1 client and 3 customers who I am helping to buy a house. There is so much to learn and everything takes me a lot of time behind the scenes. I really enjoy it. I am just learning how to juggle home, school and work. Thankfully the kids and Matt are all really supportive. I wake up EARLY to squeeze in exercise, prayer, scripture study, journaling and getting ready for the day. I've decided to train for a half-marathon instead of a marathon. If I can run for 13 miles, I feel like that's good enough. Truly. The point of exercise is health!

Our school year this year has been great. We've really gotten disciplined and focused. The girls are doing multiple math lessons each day to catch up where they got behind from last year. Ella has already finished her English for the year. Abby's already doing high school level English. They all read so much! We are studying American Sign Language and poetry together during our devotional. We study music appreciation once a week. Felicity takes piano lessons from me once a week. I also teach another student, a 13-year-old friend of Kian's. Kian has been working really hard this year. We've created a high school transcript for him and have his junior year all planned out too. Technically, he could graduate a year early if he wants to. The plan is for him to get a super high ACT score so that he can get a full-ride scholarship to the college of his choice. At this point, he is considering BYU and MUST (Missouri University of Science & Technology). He's gotten a lot of great coaching from his physics tutor about college prep and colleges to consider. I think he wants to go to BYU most of all but we'll take some campus tours in the next year.

Kian will be turning 16 in 2 1/2 weeks as well! He's been getting a lot of driving time practice to be ready for his test. He loves seminary and all of the youth activities he is involved in. He still claims not to be interested in girls but I don't believe him. He has actually found a new hobby in singing. I never thought that would be possible but he practices singing and during our ward talent show when the homeschool choir sang "Do Re Mi" from the Sound of Music, he was the one in the whole group doing the most hand movements and acting the most relaxed and silly of all of them. He loves eating and he is growing slowly. He takes a parkour class at the local dance academy.

Abby is always reading or listening to a book! She loves the Greek and Roman myths and she knows about all of them! She is our house dishwasher (that is her jurisdiction). Believe me, it's a lot of dishes! She retreats into her room for privacy and solitude more than any of my children. She enjoys junk food, but at least now I hear her tell me, "I'm going to let my kids eat some junk food some of the time." It used to be, "I'm going to let my kids eat whatever they want!" She wears her blondish brown wavy hair long. She hates it pulled up. She has started ballet, jazz and tap dance classes this year which she enjoys.

Ella is always reading or listening to a book! She and Maggie are best buddies. She loves her short hair. She loves reading books about dragons and has started drawing them. She loves to play. She is taking ballet and jazz for dance.

Felicity is enjoying soccer this season. Remember when she used to be shy? She's not anymore! She played a song on the piano for our ward talent show. She cries a lot like her life is so hard. It's hard to deal with her gloominess sometimes. She wants to be able to babysit Maggie so badly but right now she can be a mother's helper. She is taking a ballet class.

Klaus is doing great at school. At home, he pushes my buttons so easily that there are days I truly can't get along with him. He is naturally rebellious and argumentative. He just disagrees with everyone!! But he's also very loving and sensitive. He bore his testimony to us the other night about how Jesus doesn't want us to eat sugar. It was so great-we were all hiding our laughter! He is also playing soccer this year and soon will be playing T-ball again.

Maggie is 2 and talking a lot more and singing songs. She goes on the potty whenever I let her keep her diaper off. She has a hair fetish where she'll grab your hair and rub it against her ear. It used to be just my hair she wanted, but she'll grab ahold of other people's hair now! She is cuddly and generally happy unless she doesn't get what she wants. She'll yell at her siblings, "Leave me alone!" Or she'll stomp her foot at me in anger. She can say prayers now all by herself. Everybody adores her.

This summer we actually don't have a lot of plans. We do have a trip to California that we're looking forward to where we'll get to visit with Matt's family and my Dad and friends at the end of July. And we're planning a Cousins Camp with my side of the family at the beginning of August here in Missouri. But May and June are wide open at this point!

We are enjoying our new house. It's comfortable. It's nice that the kids have the upstairs and parents have the downstairs. We actually like living in town. It's so convenient.

That's all I can think of to keep y'all updated!

A Reminder

After a few months of Matt showing clear scans and no evidence of cancer in his body, I was feeling positive about his (our) future. I felt hopeful that God would grant us several years of health. I hoped for him to be alive as long as possible, as healthy as possible, and to continue to be my partner and that we could raise our children together. I especially felt that our loving Heavenly Father would not leave one of his children, specifically Klaus, without a father because Klaus needs his father so much on a daily basis. I told Matt's mother recently, "My hope is that Matt will be around as long as Klaus needs him."

But we were given a humble reminder this past week when we visited Matt's medical oncologist for a follow up appointment. There was nothing new on physical examination. And scans were scheduled in February. But when we asked him some questions about Matt's specific cancer, which is epithelioid sarcoma, he reiterated to us the rarity of the disease and its sporadic, unstable, unpredictable nature of recurrence. He calls it a "bad actor."

"We've had six patients with this specific disease in the last five years. Do you think that is a lot or a little?" he asked us.

I replied, "That seems like a very small amount of patients with ES."

"No," he answered, "It's actually a lot."

When I reviewed Matt's notes from his first visit to his surgical oncologist, Dr. Rosenthal, he had told us there are 12 cases of this disease per year in the entire country.

We get the feeling when we visit Dr. Myron that he wants us to go travel, that he encourages us to go and do those things that we want to enjoy in life. Is it because he knows there will only be a little time that Matt will be well enough to do these activities?

I asked him, "How are your other patients with ES doing?" He paused. He looked at me. He smiled. And he completely avoided my question.

He doesn't like Matt's experience with the residual pain in his behind. He calls it sinister and he is as uneasy about it as Matt is himself.

Dr. Myron is aggressive in his monitoring for recurrence.

"Are you this cautious with all of your sarcoma patients?" I asked.

He answered with another reply about how dangerous this specific sarcoma can be.

We left the appointment with heavy hearts and a sense of doom and hopelessness. I cried as soon as I left the building.

"I was feeling so hopeful. I was counting on many more years together. And now I feel like we're lucky to have had this long," I cried to Matt.

We had a heartfelt conversation on our way to Ikea. (Hey, if we were all the way in Overland Park, Kansas which is an hour and a half away, we might as well stop at Ikea for some lingonberry juice--which they didn't have!)

Matt expressed his underlying gut feeling that something is not right inside of his body and the realization that he won't get an answer for the pain he is experiencing. He is never able to forget about the cancer because the pain is always there to remind him.

He explained to me. "It's like me asking you to forget being pregnant, if you were pregnant. Would you be able to? Could you forget about the morning sickness, the fatigue, the aches and pains, the emotions, etc.?"

"Of course not," I replied. "When I'm pregnant, I'm constantly thinking about it."

It's hard to balance the feelings I'm feeling: the reality of the statistics, the hope that comes when I forget about the statistics, the sense of doom from the doctor, the knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father who cares for Matt and for me and our family, the possibility that Matt will die from this disease, and the enjoyment of this current period of health.

Since the appointment, I've had to talk to family and friends about it and pray about it. Tears will leak out of my eyes at inappropriate moments. But I know that doesn't matter. I'm just trying to process the information and learn how to balance the feelings: the knowledge and the hope.

I texted my friend with a realization which I later recognized was an attitude of submission. "I don't need to fight against it as a possibility, that he might die from this disease. I've had a warning. His gut feeling is that something is not right. He is aware of it constantly because of the pain. His doctor is sooooo cautious about it. I think we need to come to accept it. Somehow. And then just be glad for his health till it happens. It feels morbid and pessimistic (to plan on the cancer recurring) but then on the other hand, God gives us revelation which we should listen to and no matter the outcome there's no reason to lose hope."

My dad has mentioned several times to us, especially at the beginning of this ordeal, that all we have to do anymore is submit to His will. I think I'm starting to get it. I can try to convince God that my plan is better, that I love Matt and I need him to stay healthy, that Klaus will be devastated without his Daddy, that it's unfair to Matt's mother to take another son away early, but I recognize now that  all of that is a feeble attempt by me to control what isn't mine to control. I must let God be in charge of what is His to give and simply show gratitude for each and every precious moment of life.

We will make the effort now to live our lives fully, to make family memories, to take family vacations. And I will pray that my heart can open to accept God's will and praise Him for His blessings. There is a sense of peace that settles on my mind and heart when I do in fact submit my will to His.

1-year Cancerversary

It's been one year since Matt was diagnosed with epithelioid sarcoma. What a year filled with trials this last one has been. Here's an update on the cancer situation.

The abscess-like growth that got spotted on his scans in May was biopsied and even though we were 95% sure it was a return of the cancer, it turned out to be scar tissue. That felt like a miracle. Our ward family fasted for him and we got the news a couple days later. While everyone else felt relieved, we still felt cautious. It was odd that we couldn't also feel like we had beat it.

We were able, however, to thoroughly enjoy our 2-week Washington DC trip. That vacation was amazing. Spending the 4th of July in our nation's capital should be a must for every citizen. My favorite was visiting Mount Vernon. And Monticello. And walking through the city. The kids favorite was eating ice cream every afternoon to help deal with the heat.

Ok, back to the cancer situation. For most of the summer Matt has felt well. The pain was manageable. Life went on. Busy, busy, busy. But in the past 2 weeks the pain has returned. In fact, it has intensified. Over-the-counter painkillers aren't touching it. Vicodin helps but he still feels it somehow. The pain started out in the area of the surgery and the back of his thigh but now he feels it in his whole upper leg and even down to his foot. When I rubbed his lower back the other day he said it made it hurt in his leg. What is the cause of this pain is our biggest question.

He had his scans last Thursday and his appointment with Dr. Myron is this Tuesday so we hope to get some answers.

* What do the scans show?
* Did the abscess-like tumor that was biopsied as scar tissue grow?
* What is causing the pain?
* Could there be metastases in the bone?
* How can he manage the pain?

We hope this appointment will answer these questions. We hope he gets feeling better.

Other than that, we are finding ourselves in a unique situation between homes. We moved out of our old house at the end of July. We have been living in the travel trailer as we search for a new one. The whole house buying process is taking so much longer than we expected. And living in the travel trailer is wearing on us. Abby said this morning, "Only 26 more days!" She was referring until our closing date. 26 more days?! I thought it would be 26 more days a month ago.

We had a hard time finding a house that we liked. We actually offered and backed out of two other deals until we found this third one. I think it'll suit our family well. It's a 2-story very old white farmhouse type home on the west side of town almost at the city limit. It's got a fair yard in front of the home but the home is on the corner of two fairly busy streets. At the side of the property is a veterinarian. At the back is a home that looks abandoned. There is no garage. The home itself, though, has been nicely remodeled and updated. There is a huge living room with ample space for our whole family to gather and be comfortable. The remodeled kitchen is open to the living room and has beautiful appliances which will stay. The dining room is on the other side of the kitchen. It is spacious with high ceilings. The laundry room used to be a porch and is on the side of the house. The main level bathroom is also off the kitchen and connects to the master bedroom which is a huge suite nicely redone.

Upstairs are three more bedrooms so the kids will share with one sibling each and a good-sized bathroom with double sinks which should fit teenagers getting ready. We'll have a lot of those soon enough. There is a lot of porch space. I think it'll work. I just hope the age of the home doesn't make it a money pit.

So there you have an update. We wait for the doctor appointment. And we wait to move in to our new house.